You were literally in Adam’s bollocks. How’s THAT for an original sin

preformation

There was once a group of people, let’s call them spermists because that’s a fucking magnificent word, that believed sperm contained complete individuals, tiny little preformed people right there in the sperm.

Placed inside specific parts of a woman, the little people that were the sperm could grow into a baby.  It was one part of a theory called “preformationism” and these spermists loved it because it nicely explained the opaque mysteries of conception (they were living in the seventeenth century, to be fair, in a time before we had figured out what cells were).

However, people being people, someone pointed out that if a sperm was a homunculus, a perfectly formed, small human, and if that explains away all the mysteries of conception – then mustn’t that homunculus’s sperm also be fully formed people, and then theirs, and basically wouldn’t it be homunculi “all the way down”? Or at least, bollocks all the way down?

Anyway, one thing this philosophical tickler further helped to “explain” was original sin. It explained how we all had sinned in Adam: because we were there, man. In preformationism, every person that could ever possibly exist must already have been contained in Adam’s bollocks.

The mind boggles, not to mention Adam’s bollocks.

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